Renovating a Life and a House

Welp, here it is. For awhile I had been dreaming of leaving the US. I had dreamed of living a simple life in a country not mired in so much racial strife or expense of living. I had traveled to take a look with Panama, Mexico or Costa Rica being on my radar. Years passed as I settled into a life of comfort forgetting about the long ago dreams. Life moved, cancer happened and life moved again. A little blue house in Cuba became my sanctuary from chaos and comfort. A little yard with a few goats, chickens and ducks sounded ideal. Never mind the noise or the surveillance, it seemed to fit and provide a cultural back drop for which I had been longing. Living in Santa Fe, NM I had began to lose myself. I was reaching for a purpose that I could not grasp. Fund raisers and events came and went as I paraded to each one in the newest dress. There was a longing. Life moved, the winds blew and now I am divorced from a long time marriage in the states and ended a 6 year relationship with my partner of the little blue house. Needless to say with so much loss I felt adrift and uncertain. There is a saying that life happens when you are busy making other plans. I find myself resting in the wings of fate. I allow myself to be carried. Where?

I am in Nicaragua a place that i held in the very deep recesses of my mind. A friend has invited me to visit as he has done for many years and I always refused. Now it is different. I have no where to go and nothing to lose. The beauty of this country surprises me and holds me in a spell. I wonder about life here and about my own life that has unraveled to a place that is unrecognizable. I am in need of an overhaul, a renovation if you will. Yes I am here in this city of Granada, a beautiful colonial city where the air is warm and hangs heavy. It is a place where tropical flowers hang from balconies and the sound of horse hooves with carriages fill the streets. I am taken in by its beauty. It is my birthday. My friend takes me to a lively plaza where I sip rum and the guitarist come to my table to play a serenade. I feel a sadness wondering about my life and where I now will go. It won’t be for long as a realtor contacts me the next day and is set to show me available properties. Never mind that I am not looking to buy as this is my first visit here but something tells me to go. After seeing 4 properties, I rest and head back to my lodging. There is tomorrow when I shall go again. This day is the day I open the door to what will be my home. Here it is. The realtor tells me this is a place of at least 145 years of age and uninhabited for 15 years. My heart skips as a pigeon from the ceiling brushes by hitting my arm. I hear a whisper, this is it. He tells me not to fear renovation as I look around and realize this is a full on renovation from floor to ceiling. I admire the grand columns and the structure. I stroll the massive courtyard and fantasize of what will live here. I stand and realize this old house needs me like I need it. We both need a renovation.


About mingming56

sculptor, adventurer and all around bon vivant
This entry was posted in bravery, change, grief loss, independance, renovation, Uncategorized, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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