There is no doubt we live in a patriarchal society. There was a time when women were seen as belongings, mere chattel. It was the expectation for a woman to be seen and not heard. That was then but unfortunately the sentiment albeit subconcious and often covert exists this day. Mysogyny the hatred of women is not as obsolete as we would like to think. There is no doubt women have come a long way but a much longer way in needed to go before we can claim equal status and respect. No one denies the differences between women and men and that is a good thing. We expect men to be the protectors, to be stronger but many of the expectations are changing faster than the speed of light. There was a time when men provided for the family but the need and the desire for women to enter the work force has swiftly changed this dynamic. Many a man continue to feel the expectations of a society that is rapidly changing. We as women can be our own worst enemy. We want our independance yet many refuse to be the masters of our fate.
Many years ago, I took the bait and knew it was time for me to marry. Why not? I had been dating my partner for 4 years and according to society, the next step was to marry. I was the one to put on the pressure. According to society, I was expected to wait until he got the notion or the inclination to determine when it was time. We give that power away. Instead of stating my needs and asking to marry, I played the game that so many women continue to play. We sit wringing our hands, perusing bridal magazines and dreaming of that magical moment when the one we love will drop to his knee with ring in hand. I had asked my perspective husband when he was going to propose. His response was when the “maui maui” mates. Needless to say, I had no idea what a maui maui was or when it mated. However, I found myself on the floor of my home with stacks of encyclopedia’s researching when that date would be. I waited and hoped. I was giving him the power to control my destiny and my fate.
Every day we as women give away our power. We allow others to exert control. We forget about our uniqueness and how we deserve to be loved and respected. We forget that we are sexual vibrant beings. We need to claim our sexuality and our love of life as the wonderful creations we are. We often allow our partners desires to take front and center all the while disappearing into the background. The time is now for all of us, women and men to learn to allow others to be as they need to be and appreciate what we all bring to the table. Everyone deserves to live a life of freedom, passion and love. So many of us feel if we are truly happy something must be wrong. Our puritanical ways have taught us that it is better to suffer for the good of all. We all know deep in our selves that this is a lie. Live and enjoy life.