Yesterday was my birthday. It was a day of introspection, reflection and a lot of well wishes from friends that is if you count facebook friends. I thought a lot about friends and where they fit into our lives. I thought about my concept of the meaning of friendship. As I advance in years, I have come to the conclusion that time waits for no one and we owe it to ourselves to surround ourselves with those who really love us and wish for our happiness. All too often, we attract those I like to call “fairweather friends.” All is good as long as nothing gets too deep or serious. True friendship is complex and what many call friendship is not that at all but looks like it on the surface. We come together for various reasons on the road of life but when our common interest have ceased to be, if you listen you can almost hear a big thud, the energy no longer works. We grieve those losses and wonder what could have happened. Sometimes, nothing happened. It just is what it is or was what it was.
I have a true friend and for that I thank my lucky stars. She has the gift of saying whatever she needs to say. Of course this has not always been easy and have led to some serious disagreements but we have always come out on the other end. We talk and communicate and are there in times of trouble or distress. I know I can call on her at any time and she knows that of me. I sometimes wonder how our friendship survives as we are opposites in every way. One has to be able to communicate in order to have a true and real friendship. Very few of us are born with the gift to read minds. Often times there may be rifts or misunderstandings and resentment festers. Harbored resentments, petty jealousies, or any real or imagined slights can be the end of friendship. We all need those who have our back and will walk the journey with us. However, sometimes things are not meant to be. When we clean the forest and hack out the dead wood, we make room for new things to grow.
It takes a mature and concious individual to be able to nurture and sustain an authentic friendship. We need to be able to give as well as take and to grow well rounded relationships. No man or woman is an island.