It has always been hard for me to accept criticism. I feel I need to know everything and do everything right. Obviously that is not a very beneficial way to see and live in the world. For whatever reason, perfection has sometimes stalked me like a horseless headman. It is hard for me to admit that in all likelihood, there are some things I am just going to get wrong. Afterall, I am human and humans make mistakes. Perhaps it has something to do with my Virgo nature. From the astrological books I have read, virgos tend to be perfectionist but they also happen to be extremely neat of which I am not. Perhaps it stems from being raised by parents who were teachers and expected the best of their students and of their children. Whatever the case, I dislike being subperfect. With that being said, I also realize it is a trait that will hinder my explorative growth. If one fears mistakes, the safest course of action is to stay home and do nothing but how much fun would that be? Since I hate boredom more than mistakes, to stay home would not be an option besides plenty of mistakes can be made in the comfort of one’s own home but no one would see.
Putting myself on stage for the world to see is a scary prospect and one that I have taken on as of late. Fool that I am I enrolled myself in a class for solo performance. Yep, that means spilling my guts on a weekly basis to a room full of folks who seem to enjoy the vulnerability of it all. Sometimes I get it right but sometimes I fail and fail miserably. Throughout this process, I have come to realize there are worse fates that can befall me than making mistakes and looking like a fool. Being eaten alive by a python comes to mind. Fear of failure is something many of us have in common. It can paralyze us and steal the moments of what could have been. Just think, if only we had been brave enough to take a risk and plunge into the unknown who knows what might have happened. Well my friends, I have taken the plunge and I will see whether I sink or swim but at least I got wet.
What is a horseless headman? Or was that the example of the “mistake.
the horseless headman is my version of a spoof of the headless horseman. Not as scary but still haunts in its own way. he tends to stay in his own head.