Please excuse my laziness as I have not put word to computer in quite some time. Life has a funny way of sidelining a body and taking one away from the creative endeavors.
I sit here with my coffee thinking about this year and how much has happened. To say there has been a lot of change is an understatement. Somebody once said the only thing constant is change. As cliche as it might be, nothing can be further from the truth. I have returned now from assisting my elderly parents in their move to a new home in Florida. I am asking my elderly parents to make a new way to be. I am asking them to leave a home in Virginia where they have lived for 58 years and I am asking them to be happy in doing so. I am also aware that it is difficult for them and for me. I am aware I cannot control their happiness or lack there of. As much as I would like for them to accept it all and smile with joy, it is not my place to force that feeling as much as it is my place to allow them to grieve their losses.
All throughout life, we are grieving loss. Life brings loss. We lose our babies as they become adults. We lose relationships, friends and lovers who no longer contribute to our growth. We lose faculties as we age. We lose jobs, pets, dreams and the list goes on. How we handle loss and grief are the pieces that test our metal. Make no bones about it, grief and loss hurt. It brings us to our knees. However, somehow when we are at our lowest wondering how we will ever survive, the sun comes up again and we do survive. We move forward and we go on.
Many years ago when my only brother was killed at 17 years of age I hit this bottom. I could not fathom the other side and allowed the grief to permeate my being for years. I saw no way out of the pain. I could not accept the concept of God’s will, the platitude that is used in some effort to ease one’s pain. I wanted to scream at God and anger was my side kick for a long while. One day the sun rose again and the anger lessened. It was then I knew I would survive. That is what happens with grief. We need to allow it to wash over us and claim what it wants to claim. We need to allow ourselves to be in it and with it as long as we need to be. There is no ‘snap out of it.” Once it has had its way we awaken to the possibilities that lie before us. We are changed forever but we move on. We also ask for help as often times it is through the help of others that we find strength. We allow the grief knowing that after the dark, the sun will rise again. All we have to do is hold on.