The feel of fear

The ground is shaking and you just can’t seem to get your stable footing.  You no longer recognize all that you thought you knew.  You are on a journey but have no idea to where.  Life tosses curve balls, sometimes strong enough to knock the wind out of our sails.  Loss, illness, grief, any so called misfortune can set our path awry.

10 years ago my curve ball was cancer.  It came out of nowhere and landed in the midst of my liver.  Having no risk factors and being what I considered healthy, it landed in a time of my life where things seemed relatively calm.  I thought I had it all figured out.  I knew where I was headed.  A diagnosis of cancer changes things.  It causes a body to wonder why or what and brings the thought of death up front and very close.  It causes one to question.  I had been given a reprieve as the tumor was large but slow growing and able to be removed.  I was going to survive but now what?  I had been spared. Now what was I going to do with the rest of my time and how did I want to live?

When we set out to live a life that is truly ours, often we are met with demons and dragons along the way.  We know what is calling in our hearts and souls but others close to us cannot feel what we feel.  They cannot feel the pull of our soul or hear its whispers.  They want us to come back to where and what we used to be.  Familiarity brings comfort.  After trauma, no matter the source, we no longer are the same.  Something has changed.  We struggle for a time to make sense of it all.  We may even try to go back toimagethe person everyone else knew and loved especially when the road ahead looks uncertain.  We want to jump back into the box.  This is when we must continue our walk.  When the path gets tough, we need to be tough.  We need to understand there will be rocks and holes and pitfalls.  We need to be prepared to fight the dragons and stand in our power.  As long as we hold onto our soul’s calling and walk on the face of fear, we will eventually reach the other side of the bridge.  To face fear and uncertainty requires courage.

About mingming56

sculptor, adventurer and all around bon vivant
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